Daddy Dear

My father. A man of words, not English ones, but words nonetheless. Words convey meaning and the meaning conveyed by most of my father's words is loneliness, dementia, bipolar disorder, insanity perhaps. My father makes sound incessantly. It's always interesting when you get a glimpse into the life of what a person is like when they are home alone and my father is always alone in his mind. The physical reality of other people around him is only acknowledged when he has something to rant about. The perceived lack of understanding from the cardboard cut-outs that are other people always prompts my father to get angry at the world. This is one of the unfortunate traits I have inherited from my dad. The inability to change your mood, and thereby your reactions, is not a natural one for humans. Frankl said that man can adapt to anything and can change his attitude when he wants. My father and I cannot do this. I don't know if this is behavioral or genetic, but I hope I find out before I have kids so I can prevent the spread of this disorder.
Talking to oneself when one is alone is very common. I do it, everyone does it. But my dad, I'm sure, could have conversations with himself. He makes sound constantly as I've already said and when he finds a sound he likes he asks himself "What?" in a high-pitched voice that starts the outer-inner dialogue.
"I don't know what that was."
-- Sound!--
"There it was again! What is that?"
And this goes on for at least half an hour. That time limit is not my father's but my family's. Around that point we say "Alright that's enough with the sound!" which is met with "Gee I'm sorry." Most people have only said "Gee, I'm sorry." in a mock sadness. My father means it. This phrase and its variants come in three stages and all three stages are not always attained. First is the facetious uttering which can be followed in one of two ways by my father. He can say nothing and let it go, which is best. Or he can say "Sorry I'm so fucking annoying." which we(my family) respond to with "Oh come on." My father then will either let it go, are you noticing a trend?, or continue into the second stage: "Well, really." followed by sulking. The sulking can be followed with another "come on dad." from me and/or my family or with more ignoring. This brings me to the third stage: Admittance of his joking nature (all along!) or continued sulking for at least one hour. The choice between the two comes at the prompting response from me and/or my family: "You were just making noise!" My father will then say "Yeah I know." and let it go, once again, or say "Well, still." and sulk. This is followed by a re-forming of the Red Sea between my father's consciousness, opinions, emotions, and me and my family.