poems?

Social anxiety is in me
Jobs won't be gotten or wanted but had by chance and stuck with by fear
Is fear what I really want to dominate my life?
Fear is good
Fear is healthy
But fear can blind
Fear of the unknown
Fear of what I really want
Fear of the two combining


God is love and love is hard to come by but God is easy to find?
No, God is not easy but love is and the two can become easy by virtue of the other
But hating for want of the one is more absent of either


I miss the Cold Mountain
Master Han Shan I wish I was you
I wish I could be you, know your ways beyond the words
I need a river, a mountain, the metaphor to be found
The world is hard to see through
The veil
I am the bride left at the alter by God
wondering why?